You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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