real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
