I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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