It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
