I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
