There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
