Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
