It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
