Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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