he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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