I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
