let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
