her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
