I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
only if we run a train.
done.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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