my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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