They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Help. Why am I so naked?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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