Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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