Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
