Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We were destined to go to rehab together
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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