turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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