If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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