I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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