are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She bit a glass in half.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
