Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
