Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
