My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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