I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
