my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I need to stop coming to work sober
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
