Pappa wants mamma naked
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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