well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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