Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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