I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
