Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
