Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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