hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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