i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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