i just had sex bonerless
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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