So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
