I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
