i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
And then he peed in my hair
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