I can't breathe out the right side of my face
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
