Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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