So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
