ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
