I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
