Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
