She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
