the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
