Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
