If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
