16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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