i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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