Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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