Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
